My Father VII

I lasted just over two hours. I was relieved that our visit made him tired and offered me a break for a few hours before I would take him to dinner. I flopped into the car after I secured my daughter in her seat and closed my eyes for a brief moment...no matter how angry I was at that man it breaks my heart to watch him in this condition. It's not the fact that he is dying that I find so heart breaking, it's the suffering and drawn out health concerns that makes this painful to watch...imagine how he feels. CJ barely said a word on the drive back to our place, he knows this is awful for me whether because of my relationship with my father or his condition...there isn't much left to be said anyway. At this point I want him comfortable and to know that I have moved on from the anger. It's not the exact truth but I'd rather him go with a clean heart and soul...besides I would be the only one left with regret if I didn't offer him that. I love my father...I just never much cared for him...