Coaches and Classes II

I'd perfected the art of hiding my fears...on the outside anyway.  I wondered if she took my anxiety as excitement over crippling fear.  There was so much going through my head like the fact that I have never wrote an entire book and the thought made my stomach turn and I started to have broken thoughts running through my head trying to remember everything and place it in order as if it had to be done in this minute...I was worried that even with a pen and paper I wouldn't be able to slow it all down to be able to write it out and make it flow.  I mean how do I take this jumbled mess in my head and sort it out on paper?  And even scarier is wondering how in detail she would want me to get when telling my story...I want my children to be able to read about how I chose some of my life for me but didn't want to give all the dirty details, I didn't think I needed to just to tell my story.  After all my story isn't about the men I slept with and all the wild adventures I went on and continue to seek out...well not all of it anyway...it is about giving up the belief of who I am 'supposed' to be and how I am 'supposed' to act and instead I wanted to focus on finding my edge and being able to comfortably walk along it, find my balance and finally live unapologetically...