Another Good-Bye IX

I was too tired to walk Cleo more than a mile and it was too cold outside anyway. I poured more food and water into her dishes and changed into my pyjamas. I have a lunch date tomorrow on the east side next to Grand Central Station and wanted to turn in early. I looked at my phone to find a few messages from Josh apologizing for being awful company...I was almost grateful I didn't have to spend the night pretending to enjoy small talk after the news my son threw at me. He offered to send a car service for me around midnight to bring me to his place for a few hours before he returned to work. I couldn't even bring myself to respond, he barely spoke to me over dinner and I couldn't possibly enjoy sex with someone while they are returning emails and crunching numbers while I'm trying to finish myself off. I turned my phone to silent and curled up with Cleo in the bed so we could watch tv while we dozed off...finally the tears were freely falling down my face. I'm scared because football has always been our common ground...I've almost always been his football mom...