Another Good-Bye X

I woke too early and felt hungover, which I imagine is from the crying. I leashed Cleo up and washed my face and brushed my teeth trying to avoid my phone. I decided that I needed an answer, a real answer as to why now after he reached his first goal he would want to cut bait and move on to something else. I knew I was obsessing over this without having any new information but I was scared, sick and sad wondering if I could save his dream and questioning if it was my right to do so. I have always adopted the belief that as a parent I am here to guide him and nurture him into an adult, I never liked the parent that dictates or bullies their children into submission. I honestly wasn't sure if football was for me at this point or still for him, I love our connection through his passion. I needed strength to support him no matter the reason...and I wanted a reason...and after twelve years and tens of thousands of dollars spent, thousands of miles driven and countless heartbreak loses...I felt I was entitled to one...