Comfortably Numb XVI

It wasn't long after I started my training that I was hit with another crisis. My niece became very ill and was admitted into a hospital in another province. I packed some bags and made my way to her, how could I not put her first? I spent a week with her until her parents came to take my place by her side. I tried to run again but lost all motivation expecting another blow just around the corner...why even bother?

I went back to New York in May but it hadn't been the same in so long I forgot why I used to go at all. I think that's what happens, so much negative gets piled on that you forget any positive and I failed to see what New York offered anymore. I had nothing left to give Joseph except negative behavor and always looking for a way out, to free him of my new demons and let him move on. He had enough of his own stuff, he didn't need mine and in fairness we were only supposed to be an affair but I let it get out of hand and before I knew it...I had a home and husband in Queens...what the fuck had I done? 

The day I walked out of his house I knew I wouldn't be back, not like this. I was no longer my carefree self, no longer a vibrant woman exploring her life and I was slowly destroying someone who genuinely cared for me...ashamed of what I had done I didn't look back. 

Either NY is my other side that allows me to create and move freely through my life...or it is not, and if it is not...then why go at all? 

It's time to lace up...