Summer of Natalie XXII

I finally got to CJ's as the sun was coming up and I could hardly wait to crawl into bed.  I felt drained in every possible way.  I managed to get settled in the spare room with minimal noise, plugged in my phone and went to brush my teeth.  When I got back to my room I could see a message on my phone, "Hey Irish, hope you made it home okay".  I was far too irritated to deal with this cop anymore tonight and just wanted to be alone so I turned off my phone and threw it on the floor.

John and I seemed to get along fine when we were texting and even at the beginning of the date.  We always had a great rapport and he loved to tease me to the point where he'd wind me up just to listen to me spin.  He brought out the feisty side of me and I knew he liked it because he would laugh when I'd playfully tell him off.  John may be the only person that really knows that side of me and actually likes it, in fact I know he goes out of his way just to push those buttons.  Feisty, irrational, uncontrollable Natalie hasn't been around in a very long time...I miss her, and I love her, she makes me feel crazy and free.  John had this way of making me feel like I was on fire and constantly riding an emotional roller coaster.  His best defence was clearly his switch and I didn't have one.  I wonder if he likes to see my emotions because it's better than feeling his own.

I have two thoughts, either delete him completely and avoid all the chaos or bring back feisty Natalie and play the game.  I grabbed my phone and turned it on, "Fuck you cop".  I have to admit, I'm a little excited to see the relationship of Emotional versus Emotionless.