Full Circle X

We both sat with our backs against the head board and watched whatever was on the television. At this point I am here so he is not alone another night and drinking himself unconscious and we are both aware of this truth...it never has to be said. I hated that my heart was betraying me and making me feel sad for him, in a little while I am going to head back to my family and he will finish whatever is left in his liquor cabinet and pass out until his shift the next morning. But really...what am I supposed to do? I can't make him stop and I can't follow him around as a support hoping that one day he wants to deal with his demons. I have nothing to lose when it comes to this guy, I have patiently waited to talk about his demons and now I am alone with him in a safe space and he's tipsy...I'm going to take advantage.

   "What happened to you?"
   "What do you mean? I told you that I was working either at my job or on my marriage".
   "I get that, I mean what happened to make you emotionless or robotic? What happened to make you drink your weight in alcohol regularly?"
   "I told you I don't want to get into it"
   "What difference does it make? We both know when that door closes behind me that we will never see each other again. Mine is gone so yours can no longer affect me".
   "Natalie if I told you what I deal with on a daily basis and have been dealing with since I was only twenty four years old you may never sleep again".
 
I let up a bit with the inquisition because I don't want to press the subject now because the consequences could destroy me if I am left with the visual description of what he sees daily. I let him pour me drink and switched the subject for the time being...I'm not sure I have any desire to continue with this line of questions...maybe I need to just let go of his and paint our ending my own way...