The Long Island Mike

Sometimes opening up your email is like finding a fun surprise and other times it's all spam...I thought I moved him into the spam box. I wasn't entirely shocked he was writing me and I could easily tell that the vodka was doing the typing. This man has been a drain on me since I discovered his love of booze and abuse. "Hey Mike, what's going on?" I half expected some long drawn out essay on how he was doing better knowing he was full of shit if he had. Instead I got a file of hate emails he and his girlfriend were sending to each other. So, now that he and I moved to the friend zone he thinks it's okay to show me evidence of his other dysfunctional relationships? I rolled my eyes until my head ached and then attempted to write a very heart felt 'I fucking told you so' email in response. Both of them have only ever been in volatile relationships and he is an active alcoholic...but he is dying for the family life so here he is trying to lock up another woman into marriage and keep all of the important details a secret from her...except she has a son and that is hardly fair to the kid. She's pregnant and although they planned to have a baby together she now wants to bail on the plan and he is soaked in vodka hoping she will change her mind.

We exchanged a few emails until I was sure that he was not going to hurt himself or anyone else. He has a history of driving drunk and angry and he is right in that zone but assures me he will not leave his place. And just when I thought I had put his fire out...the girlfriend starts emailing her own garbage...I really gotta start charging for this shit.