Full Circle V

The elevator doors opened and closed on me at least twice while I stood there and wondered what in the fuck I was doing. I heard people talking but couldn't make out what they were saying but decided to walk in the next time the doors opened just to fool them...or myself...into thinking I should be there. I walked down a long hallway and found his door, my heart was beating out of my chest and I hated that I was standing here...no...I hated that I wanted to be standing here. I know that he has seen my darkness and I know he has some of his own, maybe I just need him to see that mine is gone...maybe I just need to say good bye to his.

To this day, I could not tell you if I knocked on the door but I recall perfectly seeing him standing in front of me with the door open. "Irish, you gonna come in or what?" Everything came into focus all at once and I played it off like I was shocked he was actually standing in front of me rather than making excuses. "Sure, I'll drink your whiskey while you get ready".

I walked in to a very standard hotel room with more than its fair share of empty alcohol bottles, one I kicked that was laying on the floor in front of the desk...which was also littered with empty bottles. It smelled and looked like a frat house...he must have packed his demons. I found an empty clean plastic cup and poured very little alcohol into it then filled it with soda...he doesn't need to know I am doing this sober. I sat on the small chair in the corner of the room and put my feet on the stool and tried to distract myself with the television while he was in the washroom.