Full Circle

I sat at the island in the kitchen and looked between my phone and her box of ashes. So much has changed and on days like today it is difficult to see any of the good that has come about...but it doesn't mean I couldn't at least find a few examples. I placed my hand over her paw that was in a frame beside the box, I love having her home with me...even in death she gives me comfort and support.

I sat vacant for a few more minutes, or an hour...time was invisible to me at this point. I picked up my phone and typed and deleted at least half a dozen messages. I wanted to see him but I wondered if it was only because of my ego or because I wanted to see if I would actually see him again. How can I possibly give him another chance to not show up...it's not like I couldn't take it if I was stood up but it would be difficult to swallow if it was him once again. "What's up Robocop?" I guess I could find out his intentions before I unleash my own...self loathing feels so much better when sadness is already in place...