Monogamy I

Six years ago we opened our marriage to live a fuller life, more experiences for ourselves and each other. We'd found our path, the key to our best life and marriage, life was good and everything seemed to ebb and flow perfectly.

I stopped traveling the middle of January, worried about the virus and terrified to bring it back as an unwelcome gift to my family. Life looks different around my house these days. With the lockdown I am now a teacher, a writer as well as a full time wife and mother...there is no jetting away for a week. I was worried, scared I would feel the walls close back in, scared I would never be able to handle the monotony of life in quarantine...I'm a bird, I have to fly.

As the world started to lock down Dan and I started to work even more closely together, any distance that was created over the six years of being in an open marriage had vanished...if it existed at all. Dan has this ability to make me feel fearless, how could I ever fail with him as my partner? He's confident and quite likely the most intelligent person I know. I look to him for comfort and he pours it over me, over all of us.

Our house has become a deserted island and I am thrilled with my company. We weren't sure how being sentenced to monogamy would affect us and our marriage but we were not expecting the waterfall of love and desire we have for one another to open the flood gates. We honeymoon nightly, movies and dancing, whisky tasting and hours of time in bed late at night and just as the sun comes up.

Sometimes it takes years to see the results of your work and when our results came in all of my anxiety and fear that had been living in my body for years slid away. Opening my marriage didn't weaken it, didn't even hurt it. The world finally slowed down so I could breathe and reflect on my life and my choices. I still chat with Joseph daily and intend to resume the other side of my life when the lockdown lifts, as does Dan. Our marriage has never been so strong, we take pride knowing it stands on its own.