New friends XII

I had only been to the Bronx one other time, it was in 2004 and I was at the Yankee game. I remember buying our tickets for $5 each, Leanne came with me that summer. We were against the back wall and the Yankees were playing the Cleveland Indians, by the seventh inning stretch the Yanks were being shut out and the fans had vacated the stadium. I was able to get right behind the dugout for the last couple of innings and witnessed the worst loss in franchise history...22-0 for the Indians. Now here I was with Joseph driving down Arthur Avenue, which he swears has better Italian food than Little Italy.

We walked into a restaurant that was more like a family style kitchen, they didn't have menus or prices, you tell them what you would like, they ask the chef and your bill is somewhat of a surprise at the end...also bring cash because there will be no paper trail. We ordered mussels and baked clams to start with carbonara and chicken parmesan for entrees. He had a pint of Stella and I opted for a sparkling water and glass of Pinot Noir, we clinked glasses and shared stories of our dating experiences in NYC until the mountains of food arrived. There must have been 50 mussels on that plate and I heard him laugh when my jaw dropped...we would need four other people to finish this food.

New Friends XI

I woke to the sound of a dog barking, I looked out the back door to find a pitbull barking at the wind. I'm not sure who the dog belongs to but it's on this back step and won't shut up. The clock on his dresser read 8:05am, which means it's just after 6am back home and with that realization I climbed back into bed. I tossed and turned for another hour before I grabbed my towel and headed for the shower. I hadn't heard any movement in the front of the house so I did my best to keep quiet and make as little noise as possible.

By the time I had emerged from the washroom I could smell the bacon in the air and hear soccer on the television. I threw on my lulu's and a tank top and made my way down the hall. I found him with a spatula in his hand yelling at a player on the television while the bacon crisped and the eggs hardened. I grabbed a coffee pod from the top of the fridge and moved the pan off of the stove. "Hey, I was cooking you breakfast, put the pan back on." I looked over at him and rolled my eyes, 'no, you are burning my breakfast and yelling at some guy on the television." When he smiles his dimples show up and his eyes sparkle, it's been a while since he could have the banter with a woman in his home and I could see he missed it. I sat down at the island facing the television and watching him collect his heart after his team lost in extra time.  

New Friends X

We found a spot at the very end of the block, I'm not even certain it was a spot but the truck fit so we parked. The trees were huge and acted like canopy's over the streets, the street lights were old and beautiful and the brownstones were just like you'd expect them to be. We walked past the end of a building and turned left at the corner onto the promenade. It was breathtaking, you could see lower Manhattan, the Statue of Liberty lit up, the Brooklyn Bridge strung with lights and as far down as the Chrysler Building. The view was incredible, the lights danced around the city and we stood under the trees and over the traffic while we took in all of the sounds and watched the people around us. I never toured around the other boroughs, other than for the marathon, and so this was all but lost to me until today, Brooklyn is impressive in itself and the more I walked around the more I wanted to discover.

We found a little wine bar and stepped in for a glass before we headed back to Queens. "So, Natalie are you staying or would you like me to take you in the city?" I really didn't see a reason not to stay, "Can I have the back room with the locks and bathroom?" He laughed and finished off his last mouthful of wine, "of course you can and please give someone your location and my name". He doesn't know that I already took a picture of his licence and sent it to Karen along with his passport number, address and full name...I almost forgot I went through his wallet. I don't ever do that but I've never let anyone pick me up from the airport and host me for a week...I'm sure we can all look the other way on this one.

New Friends IX

We went to a little hole in the wall taco joint in Forest Hills and it was incredible. I ordered the shrimp and lobster burritos and proceeded to eat the chips and salsa like it was my job. I was famished by the time I finally got up and ready to head out; I ordered a Heineken and dove into conversation with my date.

I already knew so much about him since we had been talking for several weeks but I'm smart enough to know that words can be meaningless so I settle in and see how accurate he is. He's easy to be around, like Carl, he makes me laugh and is interesting to learn. Joseph is completely self made, he never had a handout or easy start in life. Everything he has, he has fought and worked for, there was no easy road for him. He was born in New York, when he was two years old his family moved back to Ireland where his father was born and raised. At 16 years old he left Ireland and made his way to England to work construction in London wth only a few dollars and a phone number. Imagine leaving your home at 16 and moving to a different country without a smartphone, gps, internet or any other of the things we have today to make it a smooth transition...I listened in awe. Joseph doesn't brag or boast, he just tells his story and I realize how much I cannot relate to how difficult it was for anyone growing up in Ireland. He literally lived the stories we hear our parents tell us about walking five miles to school, I mean, sure his wasn't uphill both ways but it was almost always in the rain and it was more than five miles each way. He didn't grow up with indoor plumbing and his mother had to use a brick to warm their beds, part of their vegetables were kept in the ground until they were harvested for dinner each night and only recently his mother got a washer and dryer. Joseph and I aren't that far apart in age but Ireland is that far behind than the rest of the world and so he was always playing catch up with school and his career. He loved his childhood and I can see why, he had so many of the little pleasures like fishing at the little bridge by his home, helping his father with the livestock and being one the of the best footballers his town ever had. You can see his eyes light up when he talks about his years on the field and I imagine one day I will sound the same when I speak of my son and watching him play.

He paid the cheque and we made our way back to his truck. "Want to see my favourite place in the city?" I smiled, I always want to see how New Yorkers view of their city...

New Friends VIII

I woke to my phone vibrating on the coffee table. It was still light out and the television was turned to news. I sat up to collect my bearings and look around, I forgot where I was for a moment. I spotted Joseph at the island in his kitchen reading a paper and drinking tea. I stretched and flopped back down on my pillow, my eyelids felt like sandpaper and my throat was dry, I blindly reached over for my tea and attempted to drink it without opening my eyes any further. I heard his chair move but didn't look up, "Want a glass of water?" I did but for some reason I couldn't answer...it was like being in a lucid dream where I could comprehend but had trouble interacting. I nodded and rolled over to my side, I guess being up for over 30 hours is just too much for my mind and body. I felt the straw touch my lips and I inhaled a mouthful just to wet my mouth so I could swallow. "Dinner isn't for a couple of hours if you want to keep sleeping Natalie". At this point it wasn't a matter of want it was a matter of need and I embraced it.

New Friends VII

I grabbed a pillow and blanket from the master suite and carried it out into the living room, I wanted to lay down but didn't want to be in his bed. He pulled the coffee table closer to the couch and put up my water, phones and the remote for the television. I flipped through the channels while he was on the phone with one of his electricians, I found Star Wars from the 80's and settled in to drift off. I could hear him moving around and taking calls and every word he was saying but felt completely relaxed in my slumber. You hear so many stories of every nightmare that could possibly go wrong in the online dating world that sometimes it's easy to forget that I'm active in the online dating world too and I'm not dangerous or a creep...not everyone on these sites is a creep. I'm always cautious but I have come into contact with far more good people than I have bad. Most men I meet want to have a relationship, find the one, have a family and live the ending to their own fairytale.

New Friends VI

I listened from the other side of the door before I went back down the hall and into the living room. He was watching the news and had breakfast laid out. "I thought you might want to eat before you had a nap. Or I can take you into the city if you prefer". He's sweet, sincerely sweet. He stood up and walked into the kitchen where the table was crowded with eggs, bacon, sausage, pancakes and toast. I took the seat across from him at the island and we picked up where we left off on our texting and spent the morning laughing, telling stories and watching the news. This is what we do and have done since we started talking and it was comforting to experience it all make the perfect shift when we were finally standing in front of one another. We never had the sexual build up, Joseph may be the first man in my online dating interactions to not send me a picture of his cock. He never spoke of sex in the several weeks leading up to our first meeting which was me sitting on his couch sipping tea at noon while watching some guy on the New York news literally read me the paper. It was as if we had always been friends and today was no different. I poured myself another cup of tea and topped up his. "You're welcome to stay Natalie, I have lots of room and I made us reservations in Forest Hills for dinner this evening". Maybe I'll take a nap...

New Friends V

We went back to his place, I was exhausted and needed a shower. I can't explain my immediate comfort level with him but I hoped it was not because as a serial killer he knew how to put his victims at ease. Maybe it was because we had become friends and nothing sexual had ever come up in our talks, he never pursued anything inappropriate and only spoke about the places he wanted to go around the city with a date. He wanted his own version of his New York life but had yet to find the right person to do it with. As I unfolded my own life and intentions for NY with him over the last several weeks I found him more interested in his city and slowly he started to throw his own ideas in of the restaurants he wanted to try, roof top bars, theatre and concerts...like he just realized he had the best city in the world at his finger tips and now someone who he could enjoy it all with.

He brought my luggage in and placed it in the master bedroom in the back of the house. At first I was  offended that he would assume my things would go in his room but he did that so I could use the private bathroom and have the most privacy the house afforded...he really is considerate. He closed the door after he laid out towels for me and I listened to him walk down the hallway before I clicked the button to lock the door and started the shower.

New Friends IV

I had an extended layover in Toronto while we waited for the wind to calm down. I was over tired, hadn't slept in over 24 hours and nausea was starting to set in. I was supposed to land at LaGuardia for 8:34am, it was just about 11am when I finally walked out of the airport. I had my hair piled on top of my head, converse on my feet, some cute lulus and the darkest sunglasses I own over my eyes.

I spotted him instantly when I was crossing over the meridians to get to the pick up lane; he was standing beside his dark blue truck talking to a traffic cop. He looked over and I watched a smile spread across his face as it turned a light shade of red...he's nervous. I found a little bounce in my step and some energy to give him proper greeting now that we were finally face to face. He grabbed my luggage and put it in his truck then opened my door and handed me a water. He's handsome and chivalrous and I don't think it's an act...he's genuine and it's obvious by his words and actions. There is something very sweet in his eyes and it makes me smile and blush like a little girl...

New Friends III

I had the seven miles of hills down to under fifty minutes and could feel my pace get quicker when I reached the flat stretches. I don't remember much about the last marathon but I think I'm actually stronger this go round and it's making my miles seem effortless. I linked up with a friend of a friend who was in my city and also doing the marathon. Well, I hadn't met her or trained with her but we decided to do it together and I am looking forward to the company now that I was going alone.

I finished packing and threw my runners in a bag then tossed them on the rest of my clothes. I'm taking the redeye to NY and Joseph is picking me up for breakfast. I have never allowed anyone to pick me up from the airport but after weeks of skyping and going through his social media like a well trained ninja...I decided I would break my rule this one time. The thought of taking the M60 at 830am after flying all night was enough to make me want to cry. He invited me to stay at his place which, has three bedrooms, 2 baths and a large living space but I think I'll save that for another visit...if we make it that long.

New Friends II

My miles got longer as the days got shorter and I could feel my stamina increasing with each day. The hour walks uphill on the treadmill was making it easier for me to run longer even if it was slower. I just need enough to get over that finish line and get back to my hotel, except this time I won't have my son to help me and that felt a little scary. Time was flying by as I struggled to keep pace with last years training model. My body ached and my feet were swollen and irritated from the sand and sweat but I only had a few more weeks until training would be complete and I would have to rest before the race.

I sat on the back bumper of my truck while I catch my breath and try not to gulp my cold water. I answered a few emails and exchanged some light banter with Joseph while we tried to make plans for my upcoming visit. The thing with Joseph is that even if it all falls flat once we meet I am fairly certain we would be great friends...but he's not exactly someone I want or need in my friend zone.

New Friends I

I hadn't been back to New York in over a month and was struggling to find a time I could go back. The kids were back in school, I was back working at the halfway house and doing contracts while the summer slid away without so much as a good bye. I have been talking with Joseph for weeks, morning, noon and night. It's all friendly, nothing inappropriate, just becoming friends and seeing if we could possibly spend time together and if so...what that would look like. I like him, he's hilarious, quick witted and very intelligent. We decided we would meet when I come back to town and he would show me around the boroughs.

I laced up my shoes and grabbed my iPod, I only have a few weeks of training left and a lot of ground to make up. I headed for the hills, seven miles of hilly trails twice a day should at least bring me to the point of finishing again. I don't run marathons to break times, I run them because nothing feels better than crossing that finish line in Central Park and knowing I could do it. I just have no idea why I chose to do it a second time...

The Longest Summer XXXVI

It took three days to get home. Three days of thinking, reminiscing in my head and trying my best not to make my brother uncomfortable with my stray tears, sporadic sobs and sad stories. It felt good to be home, my sanctuary...I don't know that he has one of those. I sat down at my computer and looked through my schedule; I have the NYC marathon coming up...I can't fucking believe I have to run that again and I couldn't tell you exactly the last time I even laced up. Between work, family and prior commitments I wouldn't be able to go back until January, fuck that feels like a long time.

I called my dad at the hospital and was happy he recognized my voice right away...he must be getting better. The nurse notified me that they topped up his blood levels again and has regained his memory with little hallucinations over the past two days...I breathed a sigh of relief. He reiterated everything we had already spoke of during my visit and I listened and responded like it was my first time...he's still forgetful but that's expected with age and trauma. Then, I did something I had never done before...I made plans with him. I made plans to visit him without needing him to be deathly sick...and then I booked three rounds of flights to see him.

I know I know...I'm a fucking saint...

The Longest Summer XXXV

I stood outside of his room for fifteen minutes going through what I was going to say or explain...I had no idea. The nurse startled me when she came out of his room and now I can't turn and run, not that I was thinking about it. My things are packed and back in the car to head home but I always see him on the last day.

I walked in to see him staring out the window, a blank look on his face. My dad used to smile a lot, he used to be happy...or at least look it. I hated leaving him while he is in here and I wonder if my short visits help or hurt him. He pulled me out of my thoughts when he finally saw me standing at the bottom of his bed, I guess we were both lost in thought. He smiles but it quickly turns to tears when he asked if I was ready to head home. I walked along the side of his bed until I found the chair and sat down right beside him. I talked about my children a lot to him, he doesn't really know them but he always likes to hear about them. I fill our time together by reminiscing and small talk. I love seeing his face and listening to him tell the same stories I have heard a thousand times while growing up. I have heard these words so many times I could recite them without flaw...and then my own tears start to fall...one day I won't have him to tell me these stories...