Harlem By Day...or Night X

The park is always an exceptional walk through and by the time I hit Central Park West my morning was already behind me. I made my way through the people all heading my way but walking far too slow to even be called a stroll. I found Kaila sitting on the side of the monument and watching the people go by without notice. She gave me a crooked smile and I shrugged my shoulder and rolled my eyes, "let's get a drink". We walked towards Times Square but through Hell's Kitchen to avoid being herded with the masses and because it has some great places to 'sample' wine.

She picked a place with tables lining the street and found a place under an umbrella to avoid the sun. Just as we were about to order a glass I heard someone calling my name...apparently Manhattan isn't as big as I would have thought or liked. Ugh, and just when I thought the worst of my day was behind me, Ron walks across the street waving vigorously at me...as if I couldn't spot him.

Harlem By Day...or Night IX

She had only made it to Columbia Circle, I could cross the park and be there in twenty..if I left right now. I did't feel high anymore but I was irritated at the direction of our conversation so I stood up and and told him  was leaving. Obviously he was confused, I mean there was no issue with him seeing other people since I was married but its not like I use my time with him to discuss my marriage and  was feeling a touch bitter that the was using my time to talk about his love interest. He attempted to explain but I asked him not to, I didn't have time or the patience to stand there and listen and then continue on with the plans of our day...I grabbed my purse, slid on my shoes an exited with only a lazy wave of my hand as a good bye.

I never said a word on my out of the front lobby and headed west down 83rd towards the park...

Harlem By Day...or Night VIII

The omelette was delicious and the mimosas were making me tired. I placed my plate on the coffee table and stretched out on the couch beside him. We listened to music and caught up with each other and what was going on. I took another hit off the pen and listened to him talk abut the woman he has been seeing for the past several weeks. He looked almost giddy telling me about the non stop texting, wine bars, roof top dates and sleep overs...I was annoyed. I was happy he was dating and looking for his 'one', I just didn't care to be the one he was bragging to, it doesn't exactly make me wet. I placed my champaign flute on the table beside my plate and texted Kaila...maybe a day in line ups with a best friend in my favourite city wouldn't be too bad.

Harlem By Day...or Night VII

He opened the door with his brilliant smile wearing golf shorts and a plain white t-shirt. He's handsome when he's casual, he can hang a suit and look amazing but I preferred the relaxed CEO. He took my purse and placed it on the desk near the front entrance while I kicked off my sandals and made my way into the main room. He had mimosas poured, strawberries cut and the cannabis pen filled...what an amazing way to spend a relaxing morning with a wonderful man. I flopped down on the couch with my spiked orange juice and listened to music while I took a hit off of the pen. I could smell breakfast being made and slowly my mind and body relaxed...I hope Kaila is having an amazing day, although she's likely going to spend it in lines.

Harlem By Day...or Night VI

We had separate plans today, she was site seeing and I was going to meet my date Brian on the Upper East Side. I had met him before but today he was making me breakfast and we were set to spend most of the day together. We left at the same time, she took the 3 to Penn Station around Harold Square and I walked the two and a half miles to his place. Brian's home is incredible, impressive by Manhattan standards and I loved being in it and taking in the views. We met on Tinder a while back and finally found some time to get together and hang out.

I walked through the main entrance and hoped the overly air conditioned lobby would hide the fact that I was sweating a ridiculous amount from the humidity. I remembered the doorman from the last and secretly hoped he didn't...he did. I trusted that the heat was hiding my blush because last time I was hear I arrived after midnight. He held the elevator for me...Brian called down ahead of time so he was expecting me.

I stepped out and made a right down the hall...his door is always decorated with his daughters projects, I smiled and knocked lightly.

Harlem By Day...or Night V

This is the best example as to why I no longer believe the garbage people speak about places they have never been to and only have knowledge through stories. Sure, Harlem has changed in the last few decades and I am certain back in the day it was quite dangerous but I was having a hard time seeing this now. We walked up through the subway station, said hi to a few people that asked for coins and made it back to the room without so much as a dirty look. I don't know if I find it frustrating, disrespectful or just complete ignorance when someone tries to offer me advice about the city I have come to love...and they have yet to visit. I have yet to have an interaction that is uncomfortable with a New Yorker...barring my dating experience that is. Go to Harlem, stay with the locals and enjoy the people, restaurants and culture. Just like anywhere else if you mind your business and are respectful then you go unnoticed, and to be fair I am more afraid of my own city at night than I am of Harlem...take that however you like.

We uncorked a bottle of wine and sunk into a marathon of Gilmore Girl's, she is a huge fan and I have never even watched an episode. Ugh...CVS wine is only 6%...better open another bottle.

Harlem By Day...or Night IV

I found her on Bleeker window shopping her way down the street trying to keep her eyes open. She has this amazing ability to always light up when the people she loves are near by, it doesn't matter if she's tired or in a bad mood...if she loves you then you always know it. We hooked arms and started to make our way out of the village, we decided to walk as far as we could before we caught the 3 uptown to the Bronx.

We got as far as Chelsea before we decided to call it a night...well almost. I had been to Boxer's one other time and brought her for a drink. It's a gay bar where all of the bartenders only wear boxer's...and the bartenders are all straight. We ordered two vodka cranberry and I'm pretty sure they added the cranberry just for colour. We clinked our glasses, flirted with the bartender and made our way to the subway station...it was time to call it a night. It occurred to me that we would have to walk a few blocks to our place...in the dark...in Harlem.

Harlem By Day...or Night III

Every time I come to the village I always wonder why I don't spend more time here. I guess it's because I just don't stay anywhere near the area...but it is a favourite. I left Kaila somewhere on Bleeker and made my way east on foot hoping I wouldn't get lost in the streets. The west village is not grid with number streets, it's a maze that has left me frustrated on more than one occasion. I spotted Will waiting on the corner for me and waved to catch his attention, we were already running late for the reservation; he goes out of his way to find gluten free restaurants.

I felt the exhaustion set in by the time we sat down and ordered a bottle of wine...wine was not going to perk me up at all. I was a trooper though, I refused to fly into my favourite city and start out with a nap. I always preferred something fun like dinner with a friend, it helped me feel like a New Yorker like I have an actual life here. I looked across at my date who was part way through a sentence about work, or home...I have no idea...I wonder what Kaila is doing...

Harlem By Day...or Night II

Our place was basically an oversized hotel room, which was awesome. We had more than enough room to lay out our clothes and move around, the only downfall really was we had to share a bed but it was a king size so neither of us cared. I had barely unpacked before my phone started to light up, I had completely forgot about Will. We have dinner the first night I'm in town on almost every visit. After being on a plane all day I was hoping Kaila would enjoy wondering around the village while I went for dinner and caught up with a good friend. Thank goodness she is aware of my lifestyle and has no issues venturing out on her own...fearless travel friends are the best. Kaila was all smiles when I told her about my impromptu date and welcomed the idea of getting lost in the city...well, until I finished up and found her.

We took turns rinsing off in the shower while we waited for him to send the car service. The six dollar pinot from the CVS was failing to take off the edge of being pent up all day in a plane and I was momentarily jealous that I couldn't smoke with her. She was already outside when the car arrived so I took one last look around the room, grabbed the keys and an extra pair of panties...

Harlem By Day...or Night

I almost always took the shuttle into Times Square but this time we were staying in Harlem...I had never even ventured up there before. I didn't want to be sitting for an hour in a cab watching the meter run up while we stood still in traffic. I grabbed my wallet and took out my metro card, may as well take the M60 since it takes us almost right by the front door and was the best option even with luggage. The bus was near empty and was by far the fastest way into the city considering the bus lanes and few stops...this may very well be my favourite way to get into the city now. The last stop is right by Columbia so when I stayed on the Upper West Side or Midtown I could transfer to the subway and miss all the traffic and car sickness.

We got off on Lenox and 125th, Harlem wasn't scary at all. I mean I guess I knew the stories and history of the community but today it was vibrant and beautiful. Unfortunately that comes at a high cost to the people who have lived there their whole lives. I was a touch sad to see the big box stores almost over power the Apollo theatre sign and wished I would have gone up there sooner when it still had the charm and little of the gentrification. Kaila never even blinked, it takes a lot to shake her or shock her. We have this funny connection where our anxieties will take turns and it works for us and makes our friendship not only strong but comforting. She was no stranger to the hard life and grew up fighting for every last inch of what she has...she is a self made woman and I am in awe of her. We decided to tour our temporary neighbourhood while pulling our luggage and loved what we saw. There was a DJ in the laundromat, four older men singing on the corner like a retired Boyz to Men reunion and the Red Rooster restaurant, which is apparently one of the best places for soul food in the city. Harlem was charming and the people were incredibly nice...it occurred to me that those who cautioned me about staying here have likely never been here...what a shame...

Just a Quick Layover V

I didn't sleep a wink. I never do. I just lay there stressed about my flight and watching her sleep because it will be a while before I can do it again. She's growing up so fast and even when I feel stressed I know the stress is short lived in comparison to no longer having a small child that needs me  everyday. I kissed each of her little fingers and slowly rolled out of bed so I didn't wake her or Dan.

I walked through the main floor one last time to collect anything I may have missed and nearly jumped out of my skin when I caught Kaila's reflection in the window. Thank goodness it was too early for the dogs to be up so I didn't have to worry about barking. I threw my iPod into my carry on and joined her on my front step as Karen would be here shortly. I was starting to feel excited knowing I'd have some sort of night life this visit because Kaila and I love to get together and always have a great time. I spotted the headlights coming around the corner at the end of the block and we walked our luggage to the street...a week in New York with a best friend, what could go wrong?

Just a Quick Layover IV

I was literally taking my clothes from the dryer, folding them then placing them back in my suitcase...this is almost too exhausting to maintain...almost. I texted Kaila to be ready for the 4am drive then zipped up my case and found my daughter. It had become routine that the day before I left was all about her and then the day I returned was the same. Her and I were becoming inseparable and I know it's only a matter of time before she is joining me on a regular basis even if not monthly. I texted the first man I would be seeing to confirm a time then threw my phone in my purse and grabbed my daughter to go swimming...the anxiety keeps getting worse the night before...

Just a Quick Layover III

I didn't think it was possible to feel jet lag when only going a short distance but the time changes were starting to get to me. I found myself waking like a zombie and counting the hours down until I could either nap or just turn in for the night. Going to sleep with my daughter meant losing my late nights alone with my husband so I preferred to let her watch a movie and I could nap in the early afternoon. I still had to confirm the place I booked in Harlem for Kaila and I then do all of my laundry and basically repack my things. My daughter was still asleep and half way off of the bed so I moved her to the middle and snuggled back up to her; my eyelids felt like sandpaper and I wanted to close them but my phone was lit up. I have three dates to get through while in NY with Kaila and I felt relieved that I would have an easy out if once again the men were less than honest in their profiles. I turned my phone to silent and closed my eyes...I'm not ready for the world just yet...

Just a Quick Layover II

Getting home is always stressful and a bit of pain each time. The final leg of getting the luggage for the last time, finding Dan among the other cars then making the forty five minute trek home with a chatty toddler and the stress of travelling all day. I found that my irritation was constantly coming out on Dan and it lasted for the first few hours...I hated it. I hated that I couldn't ever conceal my emotions and frustrations and wished I was strong enough to tuck my heart under my sleeve rather than pin it proudly on top. He was standing on the curb doing his dorky wave that always made me laugh, he grabbed the luggage while I secured her in her car seat then flopped down in the front. He climbed in beside me and kissed me on the cheek...I love this man. Dan takes away the storm so his calm can rush through and comfort me...I married my hero and he makes me blush...