The Longest Summer X

We got back to our hotel just as the evening was getting started as more people poured out into the streets to meet friends, listen to music and eat. I threw my shopping bags on top of my luggage and flopped on the bed, I could have closed my eyes and slept the night away...but Dan and I only get this opportunity once a year so I headed for the shower after I located my little black dress.

We stopped for a drink in the lobby and listened to a young man playing the piano then wandered the streets and stayed lost in each other. He still makes me laugh until my cheeks hurt and makes my heart skip when he looks at me a certain way. I can see it in his eyes and feel it in his touch...he's in love and that fills me up. We go home tomorrow and I miss our alone time already...

The Longest Summer IX

I shopped all day while he ducked in and out of music stores and pubs. Later in the afternoon we took the ferry across to Coronado Island for dinner where we found an amazing Italian restaurant with great gluten free options and sat at a table by the sidewalk so we could people watch.

It can be difficult at times in a marriage to find things to talk about when the little ones are gone, and at times it was even a touch scary to be alone. Dan and I are not in a typical marriage and although it has had its challenges...being together was never one of them. We clinked our glasses and threw back the wine while I listened to him talk about music and reminisced about our train trips across Europe. We have so many amazing memories of just the two of us that we could spend years going through them and reliving the happiness we created. I am in awe of this beautiful man who wants to share my life but never monopolize it...our dreams are not the same but that has never derailed them.

The Longest Summer VIII

I woke, still in my dress and cocooned in a blanket while laying across the bottom of the bed. I sat up to get a feel for my surroundings, I knew where I was but also knew something was different....where is Dan? He was curled up in the middle of the bed with the sheets and I could hear one of our phones vibrating. I stood up to locate it and fell on my face from being tangled up in the blanket. I turned the light on in the bathroom and nearly tripped over my shoes...I don't even recall going to the washroom last night let alone taking off my shoes. I stripped down and climbed in the shower hoping I could wash away the cobwebs from the night before.

I emerged to find Dan making coffee and rubbing his temples...another day in paradise..

The Longest Summer VII

Ten minutes after my one puff and we were walking towards the hotel enjoying our surroundings and the music coming out of every doorway. It didn't stay like this though, once we found our hotel everything went a little dark. There was a rave going on across the street in a Spanish club; Dan tried a few times to convince me to go but there was no way I was going anywhere but to bed.

We stood in the hallway to the elevators searching every pocket for our room key but neither one of us seemed to have it. I sat on a bench when my vision started to split and Dan went to to front desk to get a new key. I barely blinked before he was back and leaning into me looking like he had seen a ghost, "Natalie the guy is wearing a cloak and I can't talk to him without laughing out loud". I let out an extra loud giggle thinking of Dan slightly stoned trying to remember our room number and talk to this guy without tripping out. He tried again and had some luck even though his name was not on the room, but there was no way in hell I was going to talk to the guy so we lucked out.

The elevator opened to our floor and we laughed about the staff watching us walking to our room while leaning shoulder to shoulder for support. Dan made a bee line for the washroom and I flopped across the bottom of the bed...

The Longest Summer VI

We spent three hours in a club listening to an amazing band complete with horns and keyboard. The night was slipping away along with my evening look and the heat was starting to show when coupled with alcohol. I was starting to look like the walk of shame at half past one and decided to call it a night. Now, that was the plan...stroll back to the hotel and grab a night cap in the lounge then head to the room...but that's not exactly how it went.

We finished the rest of our drinks and walked out the front door and into what looked like a street party that was well under way. Dan started talking to a guy that was standing beside us smoking a joint and discussing music while I tried to appear relaxed and hoped no one noticed how incredibly uncomfortable I was in my shoes. The guy handed Dan a couple of joints for the rest of our vacation as a welcome to San Diego and enjoy your stay. 

We stood in the middle of the street debating whether or not to light up...

The Longest Summer V

I instantly regretted wearing heels...even before they were done up. I always wear jeans and flats so for this vacation I only packed dresses and a bunch of heels for the evening. When Dan and I go away I do my best to leave the suburban mom at home for the few days.

We drank cocktails from a rooftop and people watched until our table was ready. The city is beautiful but I wished I could see the water...at night it just looks so smooth and tranquil. I was on my third vodka when they finally had our table ready and my shoes were starting to feel more like stilts and I could feel myself sway slightly. I felt Dan staring at me and possibly laughing, my glow was starting to really show and just like that....I snapped into vacation mode. I ordered a sangria and winked at him, we don't get to do this often so we always do it right.

The Longest Summer IV

Our hotel was perfect, complete with a balcony overlooking the quarter but also a disco club right across the street...oh well, it's not like we are here to be in bed by 9pm. We unpacked our luggage and jumped in the shower to rinse the morning and flight off of us. I don't remember the last time we were even able to take a shower together, we can't even lock a door in our house without someone banging on it needing to get in.

California really agrees with Dan and it shows. His smile grows, he opens up and the introvert tends to take a back seat. We found a great little Mexican restaurant and took a seat by the window...margaritas and shrimp diablo looked great and I was already lost in my vacation.

The Longest Summer III

Dan and I have not wavered much in the way we travel. We each grab a magazine, bottle of water and have a beer with breakfast. It had been a year since the last time we ran away together but somehow we just naturally slide back into the old days. This time we decided that we would stay in the heart of the gas lamp district and not rent a car. We have a bad habit of trying to see as much as possible when we travel and sometimes that takes away from just having a relaxing vacation.

We grabbed a coffee on the way back to our gate and arrived just in time to board. I took the middle seat, not because it was mine but because Dan becomes a super introvert when he's forced to be around strangers. He winked when I teasingly rolled my eyes and gave an overly exaggerated sigh. Only a few hours until we're in the sweet California sun...drinking our daily routines away...

The Longest Summer II

I had our bag packed for the weekend and was just getting my daughter's things ready when my phone rang. It was my cousins number and I imagine this has everything to do with my father. It's an emotional rollercoaster every time I see the number light up across my screen. I slumped into my chair, closed my eyes and faked the best "hello" I could. I love hearing from my cousin and he's an amazing, outstanding man...but he is also the one with all of the contact with my father and all of the information. I wish I had a better attitude about this whole situation.

I must have sat in the rocking chair for twenty minutes listening to the long list of ailments my father suffers from although loneliness is likely top of the cue. I placed my feet on top of my luggage and attempted to stay engaged in the conversation. It didn't startle me that dad was back in the hospital or that his health had deteriorated further, what I found shocking is that his body hasn't just thrown in the towel. I took the number for his hospital room and said good bye. I'll call him, but I'm not going back...not for a few weeks anyway.

I grabbed my computer and checked Dan and I in for our flights...sunny California awaits...

The Longest Summer I

I did laundry all day while I continuously tidied up and took breaks to go to the park and play with play doh. Dan and I leave soon to San Diego for my birthday and I want to make sure everything is taken care of before we both leave. Every year we head to California for my birthday, usually we stay in Venice Beach but this year I wanted something a little different so we decided on going further south. Our plan was to stay in the gas lamp district and just bum around the city and maybe venture over to Coronado. I have a tremendous amount of guilt when we both leave our daughter but it's three days in a year and it's the only time we take to be together...alone.

I watched her come down the slide with the biggest smile across her face...she's happy. I ran to the bottom to catch her because she likes when I toss her in the air and spin her around. I can see my mother in myself and that makes me smile. We raced down the path back to our house and I could listen to her giggle all day as I chase her...

My Father XIV

Three days after leaving my home town and I was pulling into my own driveway and didn't care if I ever got back in my car. I left our luggage in the trunk, I couldn't be bothered to start unpacking my life just yet. I wanted to have a shower and wash the past far down the drain.

I walked in and found Dan playing his guitar on the couch while he was drinking a beer. He lights up whenever he sees me, like he is looking at me for the first time...every time. Our daughter came bouncing in the house with her new things that she couldn't wait to show her father. I watched him pick her up and ask about every aspect of her trip...he's a great father and that doesn't change when he interacts with my son. I think my father used to be like this...or maybe I just always wanted him to be.  

I grabbed my phone and headed upstairs so she could have some time with her father. I called my dad...but never said a word...

My Father XIII

I half expected for him to be back in the hospital before my car crossed over into the United States. More than once he has been rushed to the hospital just as I was ready to leave and I'd be lying if I told you it didn't make me suspicious. I know I know...I'm a bitch and awful person for even thinking that but coincidence took a side seat to being able to predict his actions. Whatever, it only hurts to think about it and right now I just want the long road, a clear head and to know that I am on my way home.

The road opened and the music got a touch louder...I looked over to find CJ singing along while our children played games in the back seat. Hopefully one day it will no longer be about weathering the storm...

My Father XII

I woke early, or maybe I never really fell asleep. I had everything packed and I was chomping at the bit to get back on the highway and make my way home. I walked into the hallway and noticed my brother packing his things too; I instantly felt relief that he is Type A and keeps a very strict schedule. If I could take my father with me then I would but his health has become so bad that he can barely leave his home without incident. We were going to go by his place one last time to bring him breakfast and could be on the road by 10am...I let out an over exaggerated sigh and leaned my head against the door waiting for everyone to be dressed and in the car.

He cried...loudly, openly, sobbing and sniffling. I love my father and my heart aches for him. No one deserves this kind of suffering, holding on by the tread of life and likely stubbornness hoping for more and knowing deep down there is nothing really left. Every time I kiss him good bye I wonder if it's the last...and to be honest, I'm never sure what to hope for...