Comfortably Numb VIII

I was glad I went to NY for a few days to rest and mourn the passing of my father. I didn't want to go home to do this. My father never really knew my family, he met my son a couple of times and my daughter and Dan once so I didn't want to burden them with what I was going through...they don't even know him. In the end we had more of an understanding and respect for one another and I cherished our new relationship but I also felt protective of it, like it could be stolen or broken at any time. My father and I went on his final journey together and it felt like an honour to be beside him because no matter what we all take that final walk and I felt like a warrior to be able to be his friend and daughter until his last breath. I was the strong one...I have never been the strong one.

I guess I never went straight home because I knew I wouldn't have the time to reflect and cement him into my memory, I could let the rest go because I have something new...I feel like we went to war together and although we lost I really feel that in the end we won. I keep him tucked away in my heart where I can protect his memory and remember him the way I want without outside perspective...it's not needed. I love my dad.

I handed the lady my passport and boarding pass...I can't wait to get home.

Comfortably Numb VII

We leaned shoulder to shoulder watching the gentleman make our omelettes and trying not to fall over. We stayed up too late and woke too early, what we lost in slots we made up for at the roulette table and I discovered it's not my favourite game. Casino's are impressive, like being in a world of their own, they have malls, restaurants, theatres, arcades and full spas...like a one stop shop and I kinda see why people choose to make this their escape when they can get away. I placed a bunch of purple grapes beside my omelette and headed back to the table while he ventured off to find a special kind of tea.

We contemplated dessert but agreed to grab it in Manhattan later in the afternoon. We were going to check out, shop for a bit then join the thousands of other New Yorker's heading back to the city. It's predictable but understandable and I wonder when New York became boring or intolerable to these people...is this how they master their mundane? I grabbed my backpack and jumped in the truck beside Jospeh...he's one of them, I can see the stress return when we turn onto the turnpike and head for the lights.

Comfortably Numb VI

After we gave the truck to the valet and grabbed the keys to our suite we threw our bags in the room and headed downstairs to throw some dice, count to 21 and try our luck on the slots. We made dinner reservations at the Old Homestead and headed for the non smoking part of the casino...it's not very big at all but at least I won't smell like smoke and cough for the rest of the night.

We found an open Blackjack table and settled in, I ordered a Heineken Light and he ordered a cup of tea. I gave him my confused sideways look at his drink order, "never drink and gamble Natalie, alcohol doesn't improve your decisions". He's right...but I want a beer and I'll try not to get too wild with my ten dollar bets. We clinked our glasses, took a drink then watched the dealer lay out our cards.