Harlem By Day...or Night XXIII

The sun pierced through my sunglasses and made me slam my eyes shut. I opened one to see an incredible car waiting for me. I've been in some nice cars but this one takes the cake. Brand new fresh outta the show room McLaren. We played a round of charades just to show me how to open the door, turns out the doors slide up but not like the suicide doors more like a slide up beside the car. The interior was not spacious in the least; after a few attempts I finally sat in the seat then swung my legs in to sit front and centre...you'd think a car worth this much money wouldn't feel so much like a coffin. I have no idea how Bill was able to get into the car at all since he was easily twice my size.

I looked over to give him my best smile but found he had become a ball of anxiety...I imagine driving this car in Harlem will do that to a person. "Buckle up, we're gonna hit the open road". Where the hell is he taking me? Open road has got to be a fair distance from Manhattan...

Harlem By Day...or Night XXII

I woke hung over and covered in wine...I must have fallen asleep with my cup in my hand. My hair hurt and blinking made me want to scream. Kaila was still sleeping so I kicked her to wake her and asked for water and a bottle of Advil...I immediately fell in love with her when she easily climbed out of bed for water and the pills. I have a date in a few hours and secretly hoped he would cancel and I could spend the day in bed watching Gilmore Girls and swiping left or right while I drift in and out of sleep.

By the time I emerged from he shower I had a text asking how I take my coffee and if he should swing my a gluten free bakery...fuck yeah he should. Hungover Natalie isn't amazing...but she'll have to do...

Harlem By Day...or Night XXI

We left before last call, the vibe was gone and exhaustion set in. I watched Kaila attempt to wrap up her left over chicken wings in napkins and then balance them in her purse while we hailed a cab. We made it out of Chelsea before we actually found an empty taxi.

I was texting Dan while Kaila was learning about the driver. I was feeling a touch sad knowing he was having his big release party the next day and I was not going to be there for him. I had this trip booked long before they planned the party and had I been travelling alone I would have cancelled New York...but I wasn't. My son was flying in for the night to show support, which warms my heart because he is not exactly swimming in cash as he works to pay for school, but Dan is important to him so he wanted to be front and centre. Dan told me his parents would be staying at the house along with his brother and brother's girlfriend so I was feeling relieved that he would be surrounded with his family although I know it hurts him that I am so far away. I was happy for him that they were finally making the trip to support his dream and see our daughter, probably helps that I'm not there. I had texted a few angry words regarding his parents and decided to delete them...their loss...always was...always will be. I love him more than I dislike them...I wish they felt the same.

Harlem By Day...or Night XX

I said good bye to George and watched him leave before I made my way over to Kaila who was now playing pool with a few new friends. I wanted a drink and a cigarette before the rest of my night was going to begin. We walked out into the overly humid night and found a small corner to hide in, "why did you even stay after you found out the pics weren't him". I exhaled a large puff of smoke and felt my chest squeeze either from anxiety or relief. "Because I said I would give him an hour and it's all part of the game." Dating isn't the same and sometimes it just drains you of hope and leaves you wondering how people do this to find the 'one'. I put out my cigarette and followed her back in to the bar where we proceeded to flirt with the bartenders and drink our weight in vodka.

Harlem By Day...or Night XIX

I've heard of this fetish before but was never interested in many of the details or why a grown man would want a woman to role play a young child. The daddy/daughter role play was bazaar to me because it wasn't like the sugar baby/sugar daddy arrangement. At least he sought out adult women for the role so that offered me a little comfort and for a brief moment I swear I could feel my own darkness trying to make come back. I immediately switched gears to his travel business and checked my watch...I told him he had an hour and I was counting down the last seven minutes like I was being held under water. It didn't take long for my darkness to retreat back into the cage.

Harlem By Day...or Night XVIII

After a couple years of going out with people you meet online, you just learn to throw out any positive expectations. Now I narrow it down to; hopefully they show up, look somewhat like their pictures and don't try to kill me. It sounds like an easy enough list but sadly it is not...enter George, the sex therapist who likely needs one of is own.

By the time I had Kaila settled at the bar and found him, he was at least sixty pounds heavier than his pictures and in full disguise. Hasidic Jewish men never meet in public with traditional clothing, apparently they don't show their orthodox side in pictures either because I was not aware he was. I wanted to turn and leave but couldn't, well I could but wouldn't do that. I mean if I only stayed for the  beauties then I would hardly gain any real insight into the dating world, which I have been trying to break back into and I guess I have but it has been dismal to say the least. George told me a little about himself; he has a travel business as well as a practice as a sex therapist, which seems strange for a Hasidic Jewish person to have. This one though has a fetish...a dirty secret...

Harlem By Day...or Night XVII

2am with shoes in hand and standing on Park Avenue trying to wave down a cab is almost exactly how I pictured our night ending. It sounds worse than it is, this is all part of the experience and we were not put out in the least. It only took a few minutes before we were giggling in the back seat of a yellow taxi heading north on Park.

We asked him to let us out a few blocks from our place so we could grab juice and fruit for breakfast and I needed water. The streets looked empty, like Harlem had shut down but I could still hear the music coming from the laundromat and two gentleman talking and laughing from a staircase just a few doors down from ours.

I could hardly wait to get into my pyjamas and crawl into bed. I have two dates left, tomorrow evening in Chelsea with a sex therapist and then the next morning with a Wall Street suit...sweet dreams New York....

Harlem By Day...or Night XVI

I love the Kimberly, the vibe, the view and the layout. I went once a few years ago and then brought Carl and Tracy here last year. It's how I envisioned the nightlife would be in Manhattan...even if most of us are tourists. I fell in love with the Chrysler Building when it was lit up and found myself lost in it's lights and away from the noise.

We were already glowing by the time we reached the top and walked off the elevator and into the party. There was a wedding party, office parties and everything in between. We ordered two vodka cranberry and walked out into the open air...ironically, to fill our lungs with smoke. The people that come here show up and show out, although I wonder how many are genuine New Yorkers...it doesn't matter.

Our new heels felt a touch too high and we were both drinking away the pain ready to hit the packed dance floor. I followed her into the moving crowd and almost forgot about my aching feet...almost...

Harlem By Day....or Night XV

Peter was nice, but fairly standard. Divorced father of two, lives in Jersey, an attorney and likes to throw caution to the wind and find dinner dates on Tinder when he has a free night, which isn't often. In his pictures he is average looking with a nice build but in person he was quite handsome and has a great sense of humour. I just didn't find anything extraordinary about him...that's what NY has done to me. I've been on so many crazy dates with cool and strange people that dinner with a 9-5 suit seems boring...but he wasn't, well wouldn't be for most women. I guess if I was looking for a relationship then I would have invited him out for the night with Kaila and I, but I'm not so I kissed him in the car before I said good night and made my way into my room.

Kaila was just putting the final touches on her make up when I walked in. I made a bee line for the wine bar we created to pour myself a drink and proceeded to strip out of my dinner clothes and get into my dress. We were hitting the Kimberly roof top bar to dance and have a few cocktails. For the first time since Carl, I was really excited to hit the town...sometimes I prefer NY's nightlife with friends over dates.

Harlem By Day...or Night XIV

I found a fabulous Michael Kors blazer at Macy's and a red clutch at Bloomingdales...I was ready to hit the town. We grabbed the 3 train back up to Harlem and then bought some wine at an actual liquor store. Peter was picking me up in a few hours and I wanted to shower my day off and have a nice glow from the wine before he arrived. We turned on the music while I showered and she opened the wine.  We were going to hit up the Kimberly roof top bar after I was done with dinner and she would kill her evening watching Gilmore Girls until I got back. Peter knew I had other plans since I brought a friend to NY and was cool using the dinner as a way to feel things out and decide if we would see each other again...I liked the he wasn't intense at all.

I got out of the shower and threw on my pajamas so Kaila could do my hair while I drank in comfort. I had about an hour to kill so I let the wine chase away the butterflies...

Harlem By Day...or Night XIII

Maybe it was something I said, but most likely it was the way I said it. He took the cheque and offered a sad good bye. It's not like I go out of my way to be a bitch, it's like I said before, I cant hide my emotions and I just don't like him. If he wasn't such an asshole then maybe I could get along but he goes out of his way to put people down and it does nothing for me except make me want out of his gravitational force. We thanked him for lunch and climbed over one another just to get out of the restaurant and back on track to Macy's. After two awful encounters in a matter of a couple of hours I was ready for a little retail therapy with a good friend. Believe it or not...I have a date tonight with a lawyer out of Jersey and I wanted something new and fresh in the hopes that it would shift my luck in the dating department. I took a long drag off of her cigarette as we crossed over 7th on 42nd...Harold Square here we come...

Harlem By Day...or Night XII

He pulled up a chair beside me and sat down at our table as if we were old friends and I invited him to lunch...I did not. Kaila could read the irritation all over my face when he ordered a beer and asked for a menu. Here's the thing, I am not good at hiding feelings or emotions...I can say nice things, fake things, but my expressions always betray me and show my poker hand regarding my true feelings. But Ron is immune to that, it's his superpower to not be able to feel how annoying he is or how others are completely turned off by him. He attempted some banter with Kaila regarding myself but she wasn't interested in playing along, she is never one to laugh at anyone else's expense and already knew I was done with lunch. I pushed my food around my plate while he replayed the slideshow on his phone of all of his rich and famous friends to Kaila...she cared less than I did.

An hour in and it was time to say good bye or throw him in front of a car, and since I didn't think I could throw him that far I asked for the cheque.

Harlem By Day...or Night XI

I met Ron on Tinder a few months ago and we went out once...it was all I could stand. He is the very definition of a blow hard. He spent the entire evening name dropping and going through his pictures of all of the famous people he has met over the years when he worked for major magazines...I was not impressed. I can't stand the guy who has to always take the time to 'one up' someone else's story, as if what he has to say is far more important and needs to be heard immediately. He's divorced after having a lengthy affair with a woman almost thirty years his junior, which makes sense because one would have to be pretty naive with little life experience to see him as anything other than an asshole with big stories; a poor man's Larry David. Another one of his less than attractive qualities was his need to put people down in what I can only assume was something he believed he could do with humour...he could not. The one time we went out it was to see his friends in a band and he tried that little trick when he introduced me to the singer, maybe as a way to make me appear less appealing to his friend but I shut it down fast. Manhattan has thousands of eligible men that I cannot wait to meet and he was not about to get another date out of me.

I waved back and rolled my eyes...I can't fucking stand this asshole...