A Love, A Loss and Peace IV

We walked to our place on the Upper West Side while I collected my thoughts, swallowed my lunch for the second time and waited for Dan to call me. Seems over the top I'm sure for those who are on the outside looking in but being in the glass house is completely different. It's not just the addiction, it's the erratic behaviours, the anger and unknown. I don't deal well with addiction, it terrifies me and I can build walls just to keep the toxic out. My daughter wouldn't be allowed to go next door anymore and I couldn't form a thought to tell her our new reality...so it's n adventure.

Addiction is a different animal and I knew they both struggled with it over a decade ago but I hoped that sleeping dogs would stay asleep. Kaila's not using, she never had the desire to use again she wanted more and she went for it. I can support her from afar but I can't go home if he's using and I'm pretty sure she is on her way out of the marriage. Addiction, divorce and devastation were floating around my neighbourhood and I was not going back to spend the summer as a hostage in my own home to escape the trauma that awaits my just outside my  front door.