Golf is still a trigger for me, I miss that part so much...maybe instead of trying to let it go I'll honour it as the token I'll take with me. I watch Bailey show Fiona how to use the different clubs and it still hurts like day 1. I just cannot understand why this is difficult. I know the toll mental health plays on us, I just never knew the extent his would come to hate me. I hold out hope some days that he finds a way through his own darkness and remember our friendship, or something he liked about us. I guess I hope my love wasn't lost to his Jekyll, but I'll probably never know.
I fly out tomorrow, I'm heading back to the coast to meet someone new. I waited a long time to meet him, I didn't think Marcus would come back, but I wanted to make sure my feelings were no longer on fire. I'm actually excited, he's quite kind and very relaxed and perhaps the biggest attraction is that he too is open. Maybe that was my issue before, I don't know but I'm ready to move forward in finding another relationship.
I get the audio version of my book back this week and will release it as soon as I can. I only have gratitude for my life and those that have been part of it. Tomorrow I start a new part, it's not a chapter...it's so much more than that...
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