Home...The Other One V

My cousin Erin was in with my father when I arrived, he has been taking of my dad since his last extended hospital stay. My dad has another daughter that lives in the city, close to him, but she refuses to help as long as he refuses to go into a home...he doesn't qualify for a home, and has begged me not to let him go to one. She's upset she can't control him, I'm upset she won't just let him live out the rest of his years in peace and he's upset she doesn't have anything do with him anymore and can't understand why...well, neither can I. I handed Erin my coffee and placed my father's tea on the little table by his bed. He was awake but confused, looking through me rather than at me, it'll come to him but it still rattles my cage to have to see him like this. He decided to die a long time ago and watching hasn't been fun but it has been enlightening. I walked over and held his hand until his face started to twitch and who I was sunk in, "Patty?" Well, close anyway, "No dad, it's Natalie." Tears streamed down his face and Erin walked over to the window to give us a few minutes of privacy.
           "Are they going to put me in a home?" it was literally his only fear.
           "Nope, no need to. When you leave here I'll just take you back to your place." I tried to be as casual as possible. I had no idea at that point what their plan of action would be.

I held his hand and sat down in the chair next to him waiting to see the doctor. You can see his exhaustion and how little he takes care of himself; I made a mental note to call for more supports during the day so he doesn't have too many hours alone. I know he's dying but I just can't bring myself to say good-bye...I don't want my dad to die...