Running...But Not Away VI

I'm finding it diffuclt to concentrate on my fitness and enjoy it. I feel sore and discouraged with every mile. Sometimes you have legs for days and others it's a grind...lately it's been a grind. I have to pull myself out of my funk, it's not anxiety, it's just a general feeling of blah that I need to get out from under. I'm at the point where I want to, want to, run but I dont so I choke it down and do it anyway. Runing out the negativity has always been my best defense.

I keep flipping through my manuscript, wondering what to do with it, how I will adjust and what will vanish forever. Whatever I decide I have to be okay with it...today, tomorrow and forever. I need to make the adjustments sooner rather than later and give it weeks to marinate in my mind. I've started to develop different back stories and names for the people who I want to talk about but not necessarily want everyone else to know about. The story is about me and only me...I don't want this to change their lives and only I will know who is who.

I can never go back and write this part of my life so it has to be perfect for me...athough I hope you will all read.