Well, it wasn't completely over I guess. After a few emails from what was supposed to be his grandad as well as a few facetime sessions in what was supposed to be his hospital room...I bit the bullet and went back to Nashville. Lucky me, he got out the day before I arrived...imagine going from deaths door to being able to play eighteen holes the next day...I had my questions but after a day of flying I just got in his car and headed for the course. His friends are lovely and he easily fits in and is in his comfort zone, it's always a pleasure to watch. I cracked a Modelo and settled in for the afternoon, completely uneasy and trying to distract my anxiety.
We rounded the turn to head into the back nine when he notified me that we'd stay out for the night to avoid his grandfather...I didn't care either way. I hated my gut, the uneasiness, the way it never lets me just exist in the moment without causing waves...inconsistencies create havoc in my thoughts. I tried by best for the remainder of the day to push everything out of my head, I was already there and decided to wait on having any kind of deep conversation...our relationship had been so tumultuous lately I didn't want to ruin the little calm we finally found.
We were both so exhausted by the time we reached the hotel we barely had a chance to talk as he had to be up early for work and then race to make his tee time straight afterwards. Laying in bed listening to him sleep it occurred to me that the room was familiar, the wall colour, pictures, bed frame...and I could tell you I had never stayed in that hotel before...not in any state...
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