Full Circle XV

I stayed up late into the middle of the night trying to figure out what had happened to me during that part of my life when I met him. I couldn't find an answer no matter the thought path I took. Maybe I was just out of control and lost in my own confusion...but I wasn't confused anymore and hoped I never would be again.

I walked over and laid my hand on Django's box of ashes to say good night. I miss her so much and wished she as here to see that I am okay and that everything will be okay although I imagine she knew that which was why she was okay leaving when she did.

I climbed into bed beside Dan and kissed his face, if he never let me grow I would never learn about myself, my strengths and weaknesses, my abilities and fears. This was never about having permission to have affairs with other men...this was only ever about removing unnecessary boundaries and restrictions we never supported in order to live a life full of choice and freedom without fear. He warms my soul and fills my heart with understanding and love. I never once had to walk to the edge alone or walk through my demons without him...he is this incredible man that loves his wife so much he lets her fly...untethered and free...