The Character I Play in this World IV

That moment when you wake up and can almost feel the grain in your eyelids from being so exhausted.  Ugh, I grab a coffee and my computer, put my feet up, cross my fingers and check my profile.

Okay to be fair, I am extremely tired from being up most of the night chatting with people I really don't care to know.  However this is so new and shiny and exciting I allow myself to be pulled away from my bed and sleep.  I mean I couldn't possibly do this during the day with a toddler...right?  I start to get into a groove for separating and weeding out the "not even if you were the last man on earth" profiles.  Then I start to see a pattern of the guys that are contacting me, ugh,  they are all between the ages of 21 and 25.   I just take a deep a breath and give the same response to all of them "You are probably a great guy but unfortunately you are far too young for me, you must be closer to my age then my sons".  I can't even entertain the thought of having an affair with a guy in his early twenties, it makes me cringe and gives me a creepy vibe.  It wasn't long before I was hit with messages of "age is only a number", "give it a try", "I'm more mature then you think"...blah blah blah.  Was there a cougar convention in town I didn't know about?  And what is going on with our young women that men in their age group were desperately trying to connect with older women?  I just can't be bothered with this age group so I proceed to delete and block all of them...but one.  And no this will not turn into a Mrs. Robinson blog.  I allowed one to stay and chat because he seemed lost and somewhat lonely.  I started to feel like he needed a friend more than a one night stand or girlfriend.  Leave it to a mother in her mid thirties struggling with her own identity and purpose in life to eagerly jump in and fix someone else's issues.   First things first I reiterate, "just so we are clear, I am happy chatting about any appropriate topics but this will never turn into anything intimate.  Are we clear?" "yeah, I understand".

I can barely look at the screen any longer, I grab my coffee and join Dan for breakfast.  Like the amazing husband he is, he asks "so, how's the on line life?" I just kinda roll my eyes and offer up "Let's just say I'm happy I have found my soul mate".   I begin to tell him about my new friend, the 23 year old I have scolded for the past half hour to speak appropriately otherwise he would be banished with the rest of his age group.  Dan looks up from his breakfast with a smile and asks "are you on an on line dating site teaching other's how to behave and setting up support groups for those you feel are lonely?" Smart ass!  What can I say?  I'm a natural problem solver, tell me your issue and I'll tell you the answer...well thats' how I see it anyway.  Other's may disagree based on my lack of a psychology degree.  Ok I'm no Dr. Phil but I do have life experience and I at least have 12 more years experience then junior who is trying to score nude selfies of me.  I can't believe this is new age dating, this is potentially how my son and daughter will find "the one".  I immediately make a mental note to speak to my daughter regarding appropriate vs inappropriate photos to send friends.

Ugh, I feel like I have been up for days and secretly hope my daughter will have a nap at some point in the day.  I can hear the garage door open as Dan leaves for work and I crawl back into bed with my completer and log into my profile one more time before she wakes...I feel like an addict that just needs one more drink.