Another Year Gone VI

Training for the marathon is awful and I'm not sure when it's supposed to get better.  I suppose it would have been better had I kept a running and weights schedule rather than just running whenever I wanted....I could feel the anxiety of being unprepared creep up. I finally reached out to the first person that I trained with because he lives close to me, runs ultra marathons and I got fast quick with him.  I found it easiest to run on the treadmill, probably because I didn't actually have to head out into the dreadful heat and in NY the humidity was so awful I wouldn't even dare to break into a sprint...barely even a light jog.  I looked at the clothes I had laid out on my bed and the shoes just below on the floor...I don't understand why motivation is lacking in me for so many departments in my life...but my major hill to climb with it is in fitness.  I swear if I spent as much time training as I do bitching and crying about the training then I'd be a super athlete.  I just keep hoping that one day I will be addicted to fitness...rather than beer, pizza and chocolate.  Ugh, I stepped on the treadmill for my warmup and have thirteen miles to complete...