His New World VIII

I don't recall the safety demonstration or taxiing down the runway or even the rush when your speeding up during take off...I was stuck in a daze.  A sadness washed over me, one that was completely unfamiliar to me and wasn't coupled with anxiety, because it wasn't about the unknown...it was about acknowledging the time that has passed and knowing it never comes back around.

I didn't know, or maybe I never felt that watching my children grow would be full of so many moments of fears, happiness, pride, feelings of loss and then mourning their childhood.  Watching them grow and evolve through their lives and I suddenly felt a tinge of guilt for my mother because I don't ever remember sympathizing with her loss and mourning periods.

The sadness is different because there is nothing I can do to change the circumstances surrounding it...it's okay to feel sad about this and I am lucky to have so many amazing memories of his childhood that I can remember when I need to as I watch him become a man.  I laughed through my tears remembering his graduation from pre-school; he looked up at my mother and asked, "Do I have to get a job and get married now?"  It didn't seem that long ago...