Finding My Limits VIII

I was sitting at my gate in Toronto about forty five minutes before boarding debating whether or not to start checking emails.  If I open them then I know I will feel the strong need to defend my stance...or I can delete them all and block him from reaching out to me.  I wasn't sure anymore if I was strong enough to be the sort of friend he needed.  It's one thing to have someone you can lean on and is a healthy friendship...it's another when you start to threaten your own life and hurt the other constantly just out of self loathing.  I'd have to put new boundaries on our friendship if I stayed because I won't get dragged down or sucked into his vortex of misery.  It used to be easy to wallow in his pain and bring my own along for good measure but those days are behind me now and I find it difficult to appreciate his any longer.

I turned my phone back to airplane mode and walked into the bar for a drink; he's taken enough of my time for the week and I feel emotionally bankrupt when it comes to him these days. Only a few short hours before I'm climbing into my own bed and I ache for that side of my life...