Coaches and Classes VI

We sat in silence for a bit then entertained the evening with small talk until I felt like I was going to burst with irritation.  Mike and I knew many dark corners of each others lives so this little theatre project of pretending was not really working for me but I decided to let it slide until we made it through dinner.

We sat on the corner of 50th and 6th and people watched as his phone lit up every other minute and I could see his body tighten up every time he read the message or listened to an aggressive voice mail. I catch myself before I pounce to his defence and remember that he is a product of his own misery and is likely exactly where he likes to be...some people like the chaos of mad love...especially when they have never experienced anything else.  I looped my arm through his and laid my head on his shoulder while he chain smoked and fidgeted almost uncontrollably.  He didn't want to talk and I wasn't going to force the situation...not at this point anyway.

I followed him into the hall and stopped a few times to take pictures and just take it all in; Radio City is one of the only landmarks I have not been in and I prefer the lobby's grand staircase to the stage.  I finally found my way back to the seats with the production crew and sat beside him while he continued his emotional warfare with the woman on the other end.  "Natalie I just want to be happy and have a family".  Ugh, my heart sunk for him but this is his cycle and it's time for him to reach out and touch reality.  "Mike if you force the journey then the vision will always be skewed...respect the journey and the vision will paint itself".  He looked down at his phone and turned it off but I'm no sucker, I know when I am out of site then she is back in his mind and the unhealthy game of this relationship will continue...