The Space Between I

I had almost forgot that Dan was taking me back to LA for my birthday this week.  By the time I got home it was time to put her to bed and I attempted to slowly gather my things so I could be ready to leave in a couple of days...but I tend to get distracted while packing.  I sat on the couch and stared at pictures while Dan read to her before bed.  I really have this amazing life and although I always feel it and know it, it's only when I am sitting on my own and thinking about it that it really hits me hard.  The picture of my son and I at his grade eight graduation came into focus and it made me feel successful as a parent for giving him everything he needs to be successful in his own life.  I am sad that I missed out on so much and that he never lived with me but what is the cost of ensuring your children have the best life possible?  There is no price I wouldn't pay for my littles and it just so happened, even if out of luck, that I paid the necessary price for his future.

I heard Dan say goodnight to her so I walked over to the fridge and opened two beers, my time with him is always my favourite end to the day.  There was a time that I was worried about us but it passed and we made it through the storm.  The passion that was lost flooded back and it feels like it had the first eight year of our marriage...except stronger, fuller and more meaningful than I ever could have hoped for.  I handed him a beer and kissed his face...life is so good when you just learn to live it honestly.