Therapy for Two XIV

I woke and she was gone. Dan had left for work and brought her downstairs to go outside and pee and then left her on the pillow in the living room. She lifted her head when I came around the corner and I can see how uncomfortable she is and her little moans tear at my heart. I called and left a message for her vet...I need guidance, I want her to give me another week...another day. I grabbed my computer and coffee and sat down beside her just like I used to do. I laid my hand on her head an stroked her forehead with my thumb. She smells different today and my other dog lays almost on top of her now. She's dying...I can't pretend that she will recover anymore...at this point she is here for me and I cannot continue to take from her anymore, she has given me absolutely everything without complaint. Her moans became louder and the phone is ringing from the vet...the last appointment I will set for her and I hate myself. How long was I keeping her alive just for me?

Dan is on his way home and our friend Stephanie is coming to watch my daughter. I have to call Karen to meet us there...it's too much, it feels too surreal and I need to stop time to just think for one minute...if time could just fucking stop so I can catch my breath.

I got dressed and let Stephanie in twenty minutes later. When Dan got home we brought Django up to our bed to lay with her for the last time...