Baby Steps VI

Hair done, dogs walked, house dog proofed and keys in hand.  Tonight is my first experience with someone in my exact situation and I should't be nearly as nervous as I am but I suddenly want to throw up and call it off.  I just went into auto pilot and jumped in the car and drove to Gatineau, which proved to be a challenge all on its own.  I found the restaurant, parked and wondered why I put myself through this anxiety...I guess because it's actually excitement.  

I walked in and found him right in the middle and he looked the exact same...that almost never happens.  He was nice and made me comfortable immediately which didn't really take away my awkwardness and anxiety.  We ordered our drinks and food and I couldn't help but sit there frozen in time...it's not often I am speechless and I can't really understand why I am now.  I feel almost scared and it triggers my nausea, I have no idea what's going on with me so I started drinking my water...then his...this is awful.  And just as I am about to slide into a normal state or what would look like one to the outside world this tall beautiful blonde comes over to our table and pulls up a chair...