My New Routine III

My days seem so much busier now, possibly because she is older and there isn't a lot of down time.  I had our things packed the night before and just had to throw everything into the car this morning after breakfast.  Hoopla is about five hours away which means two pit stops and a lot of "e.i.ei.o"along the way.  I sent Dan in to wake her up, I didn't want her pissed off at me if I was going to spend the entire day in the car with her.

I started loading up the car and watched parents put their kids on school buses while carrying another and still another in a stroller and it made me feel a little anxious at the thought of that being my life.  I have two and they are almost fifteen years apart, I wonder if those with more than one small child at home even get a chance to have free time.  My daughter runs me around the clock and if there was even one more around her age I may never even have the opportunity to read a book let alone have a life in another country.  Dan walked out holding her and could see me paralyzed staring into suburbia like it was a foreign place.  Neither of us liked living out of the city and always promised that we would be penthouse owners when we no longer had dogs or a child that needed a back yard.  He walked over and put his arm around me knowing that at one point this scene would have made me feel inadequate as a wife and mother but now it just makes me feel slightly confined for having to live out here.  I could feel him squeeze my shoulder, "this makes me want to drink in the mornings".  I let out a soft laugh, more of relief that no matter the distance we have travelled emotionally we are still on the same page in our marriage and lives.  "Have one for me too".  He buckled her into her seat before he picked me up and spun me around, "See you in a few days and drive safe".