My New Routine XI

I felt a little sad sitting at the airport.  It was so early in the morning so I could only kiss her little hand and leave her a small surprise on her night stand before I left.  I wish I could put her in my pocket and take her along with me everywhere.  I grabbed a magazine, coffee and fruit and planted myself at my gate and tried to distract myself from home.  I watched a couple try and corral five small children and at one point Benny Hill music would have fit in beautifully.  It was a touch strange to watch because part of it made me want to never have another child and another part made me sad that my family is so small and my children are so far apart.  I try not to stress about the future because I hate planning what will happen when I die but at the same time I can't ignore the possibilities and hope friends and family will step in and help her.  I love people watching at the airport it reminds me about life and sometimes I need to reach out and touch reality.  

It's time to board and by the looks of the line up it will be a fairly full flight...so much for stretching out.  I watched the father make a mad dash to catch his daughter down the hall and secretly wished Dan and I were people who wanted lots of children...but we're not.  I found my seat and flipped through my magazine...can anyone ever have exactly what they want or do we all compromise a little from how we feel to what we want?