New York State of Mind XII

I got home late last night thanks to an extra long unplanned lay over in Toronto.  Dan was already asleep and I didn't want to wake him so I slept in the spare room.  I could hear him getting ready for work so I climbed out of bed and met him in our bedroom.  He looked great, refreshed and beautiful. Dan never made me feel bad, I never had to worry about awkward moments or backhanded comments after I returned home and this isn't anything new, Dan has always been this amazing...sometimes I would swear he was made just for me.  He caught me up on his days of playing in the park, going to the farmers market, swimming and bedtimes.  Our daughter is the exact mix of our personalities and I love watching the two of them together.

We walked downstairs and made coffee and breakfast together.  I told him all about New York and Atlantic City and the awful experience I had trying to return the car.  "Why didn't you just send Karen in to deal with it?"  I could see him smile as he said it, he knows what she is like when dealing with people.  "Because it would have either turned into an international incident or looked like a hate crime".   Dan and I had a running pool of when and where Karen would first be arrested...we just assume it will be for something along the lines of assault, or road rage.  I grabbed the coffee and he brought the plates to the table.  "I invited Mike to come to Chicago when I go and he booked his flight".  I don't know exactly what I was expecting so it was nice when he smiled, "that's great, sounds like you had a good time".  I did, I had an amazing time learning about him, meeting his crew, dinner, drinks and breakfast.  Mike was a perfect gentleman and I like that there are no expectations, we just hang out and chat and I can feel us getting closer.  I haven't discussed or disclosed my darkness to him and somehow I don't feel it is necessary; he knows I have it and doesn't ever ask to see it.  

We continued talking about the week and I was completely engaged and it felt like it used to...nothing was missing.  Dan is my best friend in every sense of the word, he is understanding even when he doesn't really get it, he is compassionate, forgiving, honest, and has never once made me feel judged or embarrassed for being broken.  I feel like myself again, but it won't last because I've been working at getting rid of her...but I need a break and more importantly so does Dan so I won't fight it.  He left for work and I made my way up the stairs to see my little beauty.  She was still asleep clutching her blanket and favourite stuffed animal.  I crawled in beside her and just enjoyed the fact that I was exactly where I wanted to be...