New York State of Mind XXIII

Leaving Brenda is like leaving the spa after a day of pampering, she is the best company and stylist I've had in 37 years.  She's like a bartender at a neighbourhood pub except I leave having fabulous hair instead of feeling intoxicated with a hangover waiting in the wings.  I didn't tell her everything but I started to, and maybe laying a foundation and building on it slowly is best when discussing my life.

I got home in time to put my daughter to bed, I never pack my luggage while she is awake and I have no idea if it's better or worse for her to wake not knowing that I left in the middle of the night.  I made a note to start and make her a part of the process so she is prepared for my absence rather than traumatized from it.  The night before I leave I lay with her and we turn on the stars in her room and giggle and talk...she is a beautiful creature I am always amazed by.  I can feel her little body go limp as she starts to doze off and ever time I leave I wish I didn't have to.  I lay with her long after she has drifted off and pray to the stars that I will get better.  I crawled out of her bed and off of her tear soaked pillow and instead of counting down the days until I leave I counted the hours till I returned.

I turned off the stars and closed her door it was time to pack.  I had become a pro at organizing and cramming all my shoes, purses, clothes, and toiletries into a suitcase that barely ever came in under weight at check in.  Dan was walking the dogs so I opened a beer, turned on some Marley and started to get lost in vacation mode...twelve hours till wheels up...