Moving Forward I

After what felt like a long time crossing the bridge I finally know I am it over and now I just turn my back on it, take a deep breath and keep walking...I may have jumped and clicked my heels a few times.  Looking at this new slate should feel overwhelming but it's not, it's just something I have put off until now.  Maybe this is something we all go through but some do it sooner than others and some just don't know how to take the leap.  I have accumulated so many fears during my life time that I actually have to start weighing them out against each other; I'm terrified to fly but I am more afraid to never leave my home.  I'm afraid of what my life will look like now but I had to make the change because things were starting to look bleak.  I understand I did things differently than others and that my life is now different than most of you but I am so utterly happy in my life that everyday I enjoy it more and more and think about you less and less.  Only as time passes am I able to realize that my happiness comes from pouring my energy into myself and my family and not even thinking about what you are doing.  I used to have strong opinions about how others lived and the choices they made and I was one of those that stood back and judged because it was easier than fixing myself.  Concentrating on others made it easy to escape my own issues as if that was actually productive and healthy.  I don't want to be the gossipy, caddy woman I had been for most of my life, putting down people as a way to bond with others...as if stepping on you made me better.  I have so much work to do on myself I can no longer be bothered with what you are doing, and the less I think about others the better I feel and the less pressure I have to conform to an idea I don't believe in.  Perhaps now I will be the one talked about...serves me might to be judged. 


I opened my computer and started my blog, I am doing this for me, to fill my dream...but please feel free to follow along.