Summer of Natalie XX

I probably should have been at least a bit nervous or scared that this cop threw me in my car and drove away to god knows where...but to be honest he could have told me we were going to Narnia and I would have smiled and went along.  We pulled into an almost vacant parking lot, only one other car was there and we parked right beside it.  John opened my door and helped me out, he took my hand and led me to the other car...a police car.  I burst out laughing, "nice ride cop".  He threw me the keys, "you can drive".  Either this guy is the worst cop ever or this is the craziest date I've ever been on.   I handed him back the keys and jumped in the passenger side...I could feel him laughing at me.  "So are we going around to arrest people or what?"  He looked at me with a sneaky glare in his eyes, "I want to show you something"...I bet you do...

We pulled up to a giant warehouse that seemed almost isolated but it was in the middle of the night and I was still a bit intoxicated so I wasn't completely sure.  John could see the hesitation in my face and perhaps a little fear because he's being vague and we both know it's intentional.  I didn't even bother to ask what the building was because this was something he wanted me to see for myself.  When we walked through the doors he unarmed the alarm while I stood there in shock.  This was the club house his team worked out of, there were the suburbans they drive, all the guns, change rooms and lockers.  I could feel John standing behind me and I'm sure he could feel me shake.  "Irish you may be the only woman to ever walk through those doors".  I felt a little guilty enjoying that, like I'm fifteen again and dating the popular guy.  I followed him into the gun room where he proceeded to educate me on the different kinds and what they are meant for and blah blah blah..."ever shoot anyone?" He looked at me and I could see it in his eyes again, they were dark "Irish I don't discuss that with anyone other than my team.  Not even my family".  I tried my best to drum up a good argument as to why he should tell me but he wasn't budging and I could see that this was becoming futile so I moved on.   I did my best not to pout but it comes naturally with alcohol.  John walked over and smiled at me, the light was back, "Irish I'm not a typical cop and when we shoot it's not to injure, I don't want you to know that about me".  Damn it! He is not going to let me see his darkness and I don't know how he is able to move from dark to light...it's like he has a switch that moves him from robot to person.  I've become obsessed with this man and what he is hiding.  I would bet good money that the only people he trusts are the eleven other men on his team and that whiskey is his best friend.

As I stand in the middle of the club house I wonder if John can see my darkness and knows that I am broken, I wonder why I am the one he brought here...maybe it was all a lie...sweet jesus don't let me throw up...