Changing Directions V

I woke early and immediately felt sad; having my son for a week was always a great time but the morning after he left was like the worst hangover and the house felt empty.  I love hanging out with my daughter, I just miss him all the time.   I crawled out of bed and headed straight for the coffee maker.  I grabbed my computer and remembered that I know longer have a profile but that's okay because today I am booking my first of many trips to New York City.  I leave for Leann's this weekend and I'm really excited to catch her up on all the new changes that will be happening.

Dan came around the corner, grabbed a coffee and sat bedside me at the island.  He knew I was sad and feeling down and for once it felt legitimate.   He moved the computer to look at the screen and I could see him smile, "I think this will be more your speed and will help you appreciate being home more".  For some reason it fell out of my head that this may not be the answer but just another dead end and he seen the smile fade, "just have fun Natalie, no expectations, stop looking and start enjoying".  He truly is brilliant, it's amazing how Dan can say a simple thing and it gives me butterflies and mends my heart.  I thank God everyday for making Dan specifically for me, clearly he was made for me.  I grabbed some bread and popped it in the toaster.  Dan closed the computer and filled up our coffees , "I was hoping you would help me book my trip".  He  flashed me his best smile, "I have it booked for you already".  Of course he did because that is what an amazing spouses do they love and support the other...seriously no one can make me feel worse then Dan and it is completely unintentional.  "Are you heading to Leann's this weekend?"  I just nodded because I felt embarrassed to be excited about New York and Leann.  "Just so you know I am leaving next weekend to a music festival so you will have to be home".  That was like music to my ears, thank goodness he was going out and taking the weekend.  "Sounds great", and it felt so good to say it with a genuine smile and feel real excitement for him.  He kissed me and grabbed his computer for work...everything felt 'normal' and I tried to embrace it.

I could see my phone was lighting up and I hoped it was my son and he missed me too.  "Hey Irish, if you're still coming to town this weekend let's get together".  I felt weak, sad, sick, anxious and scared; I wanted to hit delete but I decided to respond...