Mastering the Mundane XI

I booked Karen on my flight this morning and checked off another day, only eight more to go.  I logged onto my profile although I wasn't sure why because now I was going with a friend and wouldn't have much free time.  There were a few messages but the only one I cared about was from Mike, New york Mike, not cop Mike.  "Hi Natalie".  Hmmm, why is he messaging me?  He already knows our schedules conflict and he is unable to get out of his.  "Hi Mike, how are you?"  I was a little giddy because he clearly still wants to chat but I have no idea what he's thinking.  We get along really well, he's hilarious, well travelled, interesting and beautiful...too bad he's not available those days.  I have almost perfected my flirting again; it's not exactly easy when you've been out of the game for a long time and the barrier of only text and email does not help my cause.  I tried my best to problem solve a way for him to come back for just one evening and hang out but was unsuccessful because he wasn't sure of his work hours.  He was a tease and would suggest I go to Atlantic City, but I couldn't because I was no longer going to be travelling alone...and I couldn't even imagine the look on Karen's face if I even suggested such a thing.  We sent a few more messages before I moved on to the other people I thought I may want to meet...I like Mike but there is no point in pursuing someone I can't see right now.  Ugh, everyone else now seems boring and I can't even fake interest in anyone else and it should have been easy especially over the computer.  Now that Karen is coming and Mike can't meet I decided the effort of finding a replacement was tedious so I deleted my profile again and concentrated on the fact that I was still going to New York and I was going with my best friend...plus Karen is hilarious to watch when dealing with real New Yorkers.

I grabbed a coffee and started to send Karen links to shows I wanted to see and restaurants I wanted to go to. I couldn't stop thinking about Mike...there's something about him that is very familiar and I find it comforting, I just can't put my finger on it.  I rehearsed in my head how I was going to get Karen to agree to a day trip to Atlantic City, this was going to take some serious manipulation skills and I'd have to throw in shopping.  I gave my head a shake, I am going to NY not to AC and I am not changing that.  It just doesn't line up with Mike and I'm gonna drop it because there is no point since he would be working anyway.  I could see my phone light up, it was Mike...the cop, the other Mike didn't have my number.  "Good Morning Natalie, how have you been?"  I liked this cop, he is amazing and not typical at all.  "Good morning officer, I am great and just having coffee and planning my trip.  and you?"  He never offered information about John and I never asked.  My dating life has become nothing short of bazaar...and that has nothing to do with me being a married woman that's also dating.  "I'm doing well, just out on assignment".  I wanted to puke because I know John is on his team and is with him.  The anxiety starts to fill my body and there's the realization that I have to let Mike go too because he is far too connected to John and I am not healthy when John is in any corner of my life.  The sadness floods back that I have to cut yet another line to John and it's still so hard to let him go but it's so much more difficult to deal with the constant rejection.  I'll need to have that discussion with him when he gets home, until then I'll just say good bye...it's so unfair to him but what else can I do?