The Phoenix XIII

I'm not sure if I woke Carl or he woke me but we were both up at 6am scouring our bags for Advil and trying to pry open the windows for fresh air.  It didn't take long after the windows were open to find the one downfall of staying in the centre of a city that never sleeps.  I laid on the coach trying to concentrate on not throwing up and praying for a cold breeze while Carl stood at the window and watched the world walk by.  Vince had texted me a few times but I failed to answer, I would get back to him after I walked Carl to Penn Station to catch his train. Besides I still had a full morning and afternoon walking through museums and enjoying my friend.

I must have dozed off for a bit because Carl was back in his bed and I was freezing on the couch.  It was just before 7am and I could easily use a few more hours.  I grabbed my phone and crawled back into my bed.  I noticed a text from an unidentified number but I knew who's it was and I must have been feeling a little sentimental because I opened it without much thought.  "Irish, I'm sorry I didn't make it.  I was still on pain killers and vodka".  I wish he would have just said that he had no interest in ever seeing me again because at least then it would have been real and truthful.  The games he plays leaves him at the edge he requires to feel alive and I have no tolerance anymore for excuses, lies and games.  "It's unfortunate you chose the rockstar milkshake over our friendship".  He can say anything we wants to me but I trust myself more than I trust him and every part of me says he is dishonest so I delete him again and put my phone away.  I rolled over and Carl was snoring away sleeping off the night before and I'm grateful I know how to pick and surround myself with good people.  John won't find a spot in my life anymore...I know longer have space for anyone other than those who love and care for me unconditionally.  Why would I let anything less take up space in my life...my new life.