The Dawn II

I was finally able to locate Mike at LaGuardia as traffic was coming to a stand still.  He looked nervous; our last visit didn't end the way we had hoped and his demons don't like me.  We decided to head to Long Island for dinner and get out of the city.  The ride was quiet and he smoked a lot, I hate small talk so I looked out the window and enjoyed the scenery.  I could feel him look over at me periodically but the magic was lost and I was fearful that the friendship would be close behind.

We found two seats at the bar and grabbed a menu, I could feel his anxiety and it pissed me off.  My biggest issue with my sensitivity is picking up everyone else's emotions...how did they become my issue?  I ordered a beer and knew the recipe would be at least three and food before I could ignore all emotion, even my own.  We chatted a little but never discussed Chicago, it didn't matter though because I'm pretty sure this is a farewell visit for us.  Our food came and it was the best reason not to have to talk.  I have no idea how we went from great friends to two people having dinner without words, I feel sad for him because this is not about me this is about his own baggage and I don't think he knows how to ask for help.  I ordered another beer and smiled at him, his bridge is breaking and I don't think we are close enough for me to help him the way he needs...besides I'm finally figuring out my own stuff and have to stay focused so I don't get lost in his darkness.

Four beers later and I'm throwing Mike his blanket and pillow to sleep on his own couch.  The weather was awful so I stayed in Long Island to avoid the lengthy ride back to my hotel.  Mike isn't doing good and he can't even fake it, he looks sad and defeated.  I closed the door to the room and silently prayed that I would come out of this unscathed worried that when my buzz wore off the demons would come out to play.