Still Lost V

Dan and I had a routine when it came to flying and travelling together.  It was usually effortless to get him to the airport a couple hours early, probably because it was easier for him to give in to my anxiety then have to deal with it in a long lineup.  After we make it through security and customs we find a restaurant and eat.  It's become a joke because we hate airport food, it's over priced and bland but it has become part of our ritual so I order eggs...and a beer to wash it down.  After we eat we go and grab a magazine and water.  It makes me laugh because Dan always grabs something to read that is so off the wall and then looks at me and says "then we can swap".  Apparently he thinks I'm interested in popular science, I can barely speak scientific language let alone understand it; he finally smiles and grabs a Maxim.  We grab coffees and find our gate, it occurs to me again that this will be our first trip together since our daughter and I have to push aside the fear and make room for the excitement.

Dan and I always board the plane first, we love to people watch together and we always bonded over being jerks. He had the middle seat but I took it because even in his thirties he still feels awkward sitting next to strangers, it still makes me smile.  I look over and he's reading and trying to find his headphones.  "Dan I'm scared".  He holds my hand and smiles, "I'm sure the flight will be fine".  I almost forgot I was afraid to fly, "I'm afraid what this vacation will tell us about our marriage".  He closed his magazine and took out his headphones, "Natalie it's better to find out now and whatever it tells us, we'll adjust and deal with it".  Part of me wanted to hug him for being so understanding and the other part of me wanted to punch him for being so understanding...this man is unshakable and it made me a little jealous.

I found my headphones and picked a movie.  Five and a half hours till touch down in the sunshine state, I have to try and be better.  I feel like it's overtime and there's only a few seconds left on the marriage clock and I have the ball...