Finding the Edge VIII

I'm trying my best to locate my licence, registration and insurance but I already know I don't have all three pieces in the car...ugh, I roll down my window and hope the two pieces I do have will do.  "Hey Irish, easy on the gas peddle and stop texting".  I turned my head so quickly it took me a minute to focus, there he was, "Robocop don't you have anything better to do then harass innocent women like myself?"  The light was back in his eyes and he looked amazing in his uniform.  "How have you been?" He knew how I was, he texts me non stop on a daily basis but we've never made plans to meet again.  I wonder if he sees my darkness like I see his...I wonder if he knows that I can see his.  His radio went off and my heart sunk knowing he was about to leave and there was nothing I could do but watch him go.  He reached his hand through my window and tousled my hair, it made me catch my breath and want to cry.  He flipped the switch and Robocop was back, "drive safe Irish and I'll text you later".  I watched him walk away in my rearview mirror and waited for him to drive away before I jumped out of my car and started throwing up in the ditch.  He knows I know and a part of me hopes I'll see him again but it's doubtful.  My heart aches, not because of him but for him.

Standing in a ditch on the side of a highway before noon on a Sunday throwing up was not how I envisioned my journey...not at 35 anyway.  The tears started flowing uncontrollably and I hate that I have turned into this woman who has no emotional control and runs instead of fights...which by the way only makes me cry harder...get your shit together Natalie!  I wiped my mouth, looked into the sun then threw up one more time from the head rush.  I was walking back to my car when another police car pulled up and for a split second I had hope it was him...it wasn't.  The officer approached me, "are you Irish?" This did not help the crying at all, "yeah I guess I am, why?"   He handed me my identification, "John wanted me to bring this back to you".  I felt bad cause I couldn't say another word after he called me Irish so I just nodded and smiled.  It was time to go home because the longer I sat on the side of the road the the more I wanted to stay and find John.  I can see the first town ahead, I open the sunroof eat an Advil and turn up the music...eight hours to go...